ironmonger | (no subject)

"I am sure you will understand if I disagree," he says mildly.

Obadiah flicks him a look that's something like amusement.

"It'd be a little strange if you didn't."

"It may have come to your attention that I can be somewhat cavalier about my own survival."

Obadiah snorts.

"Yeah, I noticed. I liked the part where he offered to go back and save three armed professionals from someone who'd already kicked his ass. I'm sure that would have worked out for him."

Sherlock laughs.

"Oh, let me guess. Tony was out of danger, and they had helped. Yes, that sounds like precisely my brand of idiocy."

Obadiah chuckles a bit.

"Lucky for him, Tony vetoed that idea."

"We do have that habit of looking out for one another," Sherlock agrees.

"I've picked up on that, yeah," he says dryly.

He shrugs.

"Returning to the original point, then, or one of them—ways of keeping Tony safe without torturing anyone. I suppose, if you took him through the logic of it, Sherlock might be convinced to arrange things so that they appear to have been tortured."

Obadiah considers this. He'd just been warming up to the idea of dealing with the German bitch himself, but that's not really the point of this endeavor.

"That might work," he says. "It would have to be very convincing."

"I can be as convincing as necessary," Sherlock promises. "I would regard it as a fascinating challenge."

And he would, too.

"Of course you would," Obadiah says.

"All right, I'll see if I can sell it to him that way. I'll bring it up tonight, if I can pry him off Tony long enough."

"And I wouldn't worry too much even if you can't. Depending on the circumstances, my idea of an efficient murder might be disquieting enough all by itself."

"I suppose the bodies turning up in their secret strongholds would make a statement all by itself," Obadiah concedes.

"Still. Better safe than sorry."

"Turning up in their secret strongolds with, oh, their necks broken and every major artery cut. For example."

"That does have a certain flair."

It definitely makes a louder statement than, say, a simple shot to the back of the head.

Maybe he can still convince Sherlock to leave the fraulein for him. It can't substantially harm his case to bring it up, at any rate.

"His priority will be to put them beyond the reach of medical assistance as quickly and thoroughly as possible. I am sure there is room within those specifications for a certain amount of dramatism. The two of you can negotiate."

"I'd just like to leave a bit of room to put my own touch on things, if at all possible."

He finishes off the last of his dinner and puts the plate aside.

"As long as your own touch does not involve causing anyone undue suffering. Undue as Tony would define it, not as you or I might."

The fact that Sherlock would not condone torture does not mean that he wouldn't be just a little bit tempted.

Obadiah doesn't even think that's worth an answer. Of course it would involve an amount of suffering Tony would be uncomfortable with. Otherwise, what would be the point?

He shakes his head.

"I am glad I will not be the one on the other end of that argument."

Obadiah smiles blandly.

"It should be interesting."

"I would ask you to tell me how it goes, but then of course you wouldn't."

He chuckles.

"Oh, I might."

Depending, of course, on how it goes.

"Oh, by all means," he says, waving a hand invitingly. "Feel free to gloat."